Love Thyself

Summer is upon us, and I’m sure we are all flocking outside our houses. I must say, I love staying indoors, but I too am venturing outside to embrace all that nature has to offer in British Columbia. As I navigate through the summer, exploring BC, I have been taking pictures here and there of nature. While capturing the beauty of nature, I don’t often include myself in the frame. I’ve always struggled with my relationship with a camera, as it never really saw me the way I saw myself. What I saw in the mirror didn’t match what the camera captured. I found more flaws in the pictures than I did in the mirror.

This mismatched image between the mirror and the camera resulted in me having very few pictures of myself. This blog entry is about my journey towards accepting my self-image.

Self Image: I always scrutinized everything I perceived as a flaw in myself when looking at pictures. I wasn’t focused on enjoying the captured moment; instead, I fixated on my physical appearance. I forgot the essence of the moment depicted in the picture. Rather than seeing my smile while cutting the cake, I would focus on aspects like how the dress didn’t fit me correctly or other trivial details.

The Turning Point: This came when I realized I have very few pictures of myself.  I had been avoiding being photographed all my life.  I rarely had shots with my close friends and even fewer with my family as an adult.  To be on social media (@anjuswords – shameless plug), and share my journey through life, I knew I needed to be comfortable being in front of the camera. I needed put myself in front of that lens.  Instead of looking at pictures by just looking at myself, I started seeing them as moments to be cherished and memories to be captured.

The Self Acceptance: This realization didn’t occur overnight.  It was a gradual process that required a shift in mindset.  As I looked back at my sparse collection of pictures, I wondered why I’d been so hard myself.  I now consciously try to immerse myself in moments and events where I can capture a picture because I know when I look back at them in the future, I will remember that moment itself rather than focusing on my appearance.

The Learning: I have learned that Photographs are meant to immortalize moments, emotions, and experiences.  They are not meant to capture anyone’s perfections.  This understanding is part of the self-love that allows me to appreciate the beauty of each moment.

For example, this picture was taken by a dear friend right after a hike.  We were sweaty and tired, unexpectedly stumbling upon a rose garden (We had no idea it existed at the end of the hike).  We decided to have a fun photo shoot.  In the past, I might have shied away but this time, I consciously said to myself – “This is not a moment I want to forget” So, I embraced it, had fun, and enjoyed my time with my friend.

The Lesson: Next time I want to capture a moment and make a memory; I wont shy away from the camera; I will smile brightly.  I will accept me for me.